Emphasis on the word NOT. I am definitely not ready. But ready or not, Sunday is race day and I will run/jog/walk 3.1 miles whether I feel like it or not.

[Pause for mental breakdown]

What the frack was I thinking? Have I completely lost all rational thought and sense? I am not a runner. And even when I’m pretending to be a runner, I’m smart enough to give myself several hours and buckets of caffeine to wake up. Running at 9 a.m. on a Sunday morning? Um, no. That’s a terrible idea. Actually, that may be the worst idea I’ve ever had, and I’ve had lots of dumb ideas. Like mountain biking in the rain. That was dumb. This is definitely dumber. Oh hell. Welcome to what I’m sure will be a spectacular display of public humiliation.

[End mental breakdown]


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